personal, poetry, thoughts

I Am Not Like My Mother

I’m not like my mother
The perfect wife of an absent man
The present parent to the one off-duty
The caretaker, the homemaker.

I am not like my mother
To wait nights up alone wondering where he’s gone
To spend days questioning if she’s done something wrong
To fake a smile going to gatherings alone.

I am not like my mother.

I am
Continue reading “I Am Not Like My Mother”

inspirational, poetry

Boys

Sad-girl-foot-in-water-black-and-white-300x250.jpg

To the boy who wanted to have a fling.

My body has been through wars and survived.
It has fought battles it was never supposed to.
Lovers tried to conquer this body and left.
Never making it a home.
Bleeding,
Leaving bruises in my soul that I’m still struggling to heal.
I have fallen for boys who would love with half hearts.
Unable to love themselves.
Or maybe, loving themselves too much.
But everything is a lesson. Continue reading “Boys”

personal, thoughts

Maybe

you give yourself
wearing your heart on your sleeve,
a love that you pick
from your pockets like a thief;

where does it all go?
no love comes back you know, 


you turn empty slowly,
afraid of things, you can’t keep track,
knowing what you give freely
you most certainly will never get back; 

but every single time,
some part of you starts
believing:  

maybe this time it will work
maybe this time they won’t leave me.

happiness, inspirational

What Growing Up Really Means

growing up

As I grow, I learn. My desires from a relationship have changed over the course of time. Now I no longer want someone who says they would be with me forever, and I no longer want someone who says they would never leave me. I am not looking for someone who is always neatly dressed up, or wears shiny shoes, or has an amazing sense of humour or has great guitar playing skills. I am not looking for someone who has the false sense of love, and thinks that love is finding that one perfect person, or someone who is trying to check items off their list while they search for “the one”. I want someone who understands that “the one” is a fairy tale, and though fairy tales do happen in real life, they take much more work than the Cinderella finding her prince charming by walking into a party. Every fairy tale ends with “happily ever after”, I want someone who realizes that the “happily ever afters” are a lot of hard work. Continue reading “What Growing Up Really Means”

quotes

Right Kind Of Wrong (you are)

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think,

“This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

―Andrew Boyd