thoughts

A New Post

To begin, I would like to say ‘sorry’, both to the people reading this and myself, as I promised this blog would be different and I would post more often, and I did not fulfill it. And no one likes people who break promises, no? Not even myself.

These two months have been an amazing experience for me, and have given me a certain direction in the path to self-discovery (and I’m saying this risking that I sound like those yoga gurus and emotional leaders or whatever). It is true nonetheless.

Ah, I almost forgot – a short warning. This post is going to be about me and me only, those uninterested in the matter please feel free to leave at any point when this becomes too much for you to bear or cope with.

So, new life. As exciting as tough, exhausting, mostly ecstatic, at times a bit gloomy.

A sidenote: the weather here is amazing. I am enjoying the sunny days that this beautiful city offers as much as I can, and as much as the workload allows me to, of course.

First things first. Learning to live alone, completely alone, made me realize that I first need to learn how to enjoy it. Ever since I was a child, I wanted to have certain periods where I’d enjoy the company of a good book and myself; however, I have never been keen on being alone for a prolonged period of time. Being an emotional person is not easy – you always create bonds with people that just put pressure on your back. After going through an extremely excruciating thinking process, it dawned on me that I need to be completely alone in all areas of my life so I can learn how to deal with solitude. So, that is what I did, and now, most of the time, I love every moment of it. There is something extremely pleasurable in dealing with life on your own – your own style, your own pace, your own rules.

It is still hard at times – being single and trying to remain that way; being without my family and avoiding to keep in touch too much and too often. I sometimes succumb and call them (including the one dear person I let go), and afterwards I have to deal with this confusing spectrum of emotions that arise in me; but that too passes.

What else? Mistakes. Like all people, I make them on a daily basis I suppose, throughout all areas of life. The important thing is that at the end of the day they teach a valuable lesson. Humans are not made to learn though theory; we never get the main takeaways without the practical part. So, as long as you can make sense of your mistakes after a while, it is just another learning method. Most of the things I consider errors I have managed to make sense of; some are still pending. I believe I’ll get there, but I don’t know when.

I’ll leave you with the promise of more often posts and more valuable content; for today, I have used all the spare time I have and I now have to get down to work.

With love,
Xx

p.s. this is the second time I try to post the same post, the first time the draft just disappeared. just so you know 🙂

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