ramblings, thoughts

Random Matters of the Heart

“If you cannot get someone off your mind, it means that you are on their mind too.”

Numerous times on dozen occasions have I asked myself if this is true. Sometimes when I am sitting idly alone my mind wanders off to the strangest of places and people. On such moments, an awkward feeling is born inside of me that I find no suitable words to describe. I am well-aware that you can never miss a certain person but rather the memories you have with them, and yet I have a weird feeling of longing that I cannot shake off my back.

The days this summer have passed me by quickly but not easily. Without exaggeration I can say with certainty that they have been even hard for many matters of the heart. Deciding I need to re-connect with people I have long lost contact with because of that feeling of yearning was not easy for me, yet a lot easier than leaving things undone and matters unsaid. And I have a lot to say, especially since my memory has started to fade and I found myself desperate to find colours to repaint it.

So why wouldn’t you listen? You of all people should know me best, and yet I find it hard to connect with you. I sometimes feel like needing to talk to you and yet I can rarely find the words to make you listen to me. To make you see that things are not as you imagine them to be, nor am I. You are grasping for air but refuse my help. And without your stretched hand there is nothing I can do to pull you up.


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